This last weekend was an adventure. Albeit an adventure that most (probably all) parents go through. I returned home from one adventure to fall into another one that night.
First the youngest daughter started to throw up.
Then the eldest started to throw up.
Before it was over, the night was a sick-fest and neither my spouse nor myself had slept much. Now I don't want this to be a time where I simply complain about all the trials of being a parent. I take it that if you are a parent and you have read this far then there is simply that quiet understanding between us. If you haven't lived it, then you wouldn't know. Complaining wouldn't help and it wouldn't make much progress.
What I know is that when I sat down to write this, I know that the last thing that was on our minds the next day was the idea that someone should come and visit us. Why would anyone want to expose themselves to this sickness? Why would anyone want to be a part of this misery? We would be through it soon enough and that would be enough time for us to get things together and get ourselves cleaned up.
Then we could entertain visitors.
As for myself, why would I go visit someone in a house filled with sickness and put myself at risk of getting sick?
Maybe that is the point.
Visiting the sick is neither about visiting, nor about the sick. It is about loving so much that you are willing to put yourself at risk. Perhaps it is a risk of getting sick. Perhaps it is a deeper risk of being hurt, of being uncomfortable, of being challenged in a way that you hadn't been before.
To visit a sick person is to visit someone who is weak, vulnerable, possibly in the state of dying. The person visiting could take advantage of that, but they also open themselves to the same state. Notice that the work of mercy is not to "cure" the sick or even to "treat" the sick but it is to "visit" the sick. Visiting requires one thing and that is being in the presence of the other person.
We get concerned so many times that we are doing the right things for someone or that we are impressing them, putting our best foot forward, making a good impression. So many times we talk ourselves out of visiting someone or loving another because we are afraid we can't love the person on our terms, we can't do it in a way that makes us happy. If we are going to love another and be vulnerable, then it can only be about "being."
To visit is to love and to "be" is to simply allow ourselves to "be" with the other. To be in their presence, to be vulnerable as they are and to be loved in return.
This is where we see the joy on the missionary's face after returning from a mission trip.
The next day, after the sicknesses had passed, we as a family just relaxed and allowed ourselves to have fun with each other.
In the end, the sacrifice that we make, the more that we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, the more we allow ourselves to open up to receive that love. Who wouldn't desire that? Who wouldn't want that? Who wouldn't want to make the sacrifice that would allow you to open yourself up to be loved?
If perhaps we don't allow ourselves to love others, then maybe we are the ones who need the visit.