What do we mean by conversion? Does it only happen once?
When we hear the term conversion, we tend to reflect on the idea of a person who was opposed to something, becoming convinced of the goodness of the opposing side and making the jump.
The atheist who finds God.
The Yankees fan who finds the Mets.
You get the idea.
For us as Christians, we need to find that conversion moment every single day of our lives. Our lives need to be a continual act of conversion. For myself, I know that there were three big moments in my life that I would call profound "conversions." I also know that there are hundreds and thousands of little conversions in between.
For the Challenge, for today, we are going to concentrate on one type of conversion, the words of Mary at the moment of the conception of Jesus, the Annunciation: "Let it be done to me according to your word."
What would happen if we started every day with those words? What would happen if we started every meeting with those words? What would happen if we gave God permission to wreck our lives in the same way that a teenage girl did 2000 years ago?
That response by Mary brought God from Heaven to Earth and that is the type of vessel that we are called to become. We are called to become "little Christs" according to C.S. Lewis. These are dangerous words. These are the words that make the challenge so hazardous to what we think is important in our lives.
What if what we want done is not what God wants done? What if what we want to do is not what God wants to do? What if the relationships that we want are not the relationships that God wants? What if the career that we want is not the career that God wants? What if the path to sainthood that we want is not the path that God wants?
Are you scared yet?
The angel told Mary to "be not afraid." God says the same thing to you right now.
Be not afraid.
There is a strong possibility that over the course of the next six weeks your life could change dramatically in ways that you have never imagined. You may have to do things that are very painful. They may be painful emotionally. spiritually, and mentally, which many times is worse than physically.
For today, convert. Give God your will. Give God your life.
You may be at a point in your life where this may simply manifest itself in you considering that God even exists. You may be at a point where you pray all the time, but you know there is one part of your life you do not want to give to God. You want it for yourself.
"If we look into our hearts with complete honesty, we must admit that there is one and only one reason why we are not now saints; we do not wholly want to be."
It's time to wholly want to be holy.
It's time to want to give it all to God.
Questions to Reflect:
- Contemplate the quote by William Law. Is it true? Is there a part of you that honestly does not want Sainthood?
- What is so dangerous about the prayer of Mary, "Let it be done to me according to your Word" that makes it so hard to pray with full honesty?
- What are you afraid that God is going to ask you to do if you desire sainthood with your whole heart? Is that fear realistic?
- What would be the easiest thing that God could ask you to do? Do you think that would be enough?
- Is the biggest block to your full conversion the pressure from others or the pressure from yourself? The fear of the reactions of others or the fear of failure from yourself?
- Say the prayer of Mary at the beginning of every transition today. Every new meeting, every new event, as much as possible. Make it the last thing you say before you go to bed. Don't try to then discern what God wants for you after that, just offer yourself completely to Him, as much as you can, as often as you can. "Let it be done to me according to your Word."
- Make a note of the fears you have that come up through the day. Maybe it is what others will think. Maybe it is a fear that you are going to be called to do something that is going to make you uncomfortable. Don't try to solve that fear. Just make a note of it.
- Make an effort to "game out" your worst fear of conversion. What would realistically happen if God was actually calling you to do what you most feared to do? Even if your worst fear was realized, could you recover? Could you survive? Could you continue?
- Look at your own life and make a list of areas you have deliberately left God out or hidden your faith for fear that you may come off as a "religious nut". What external forces are causing you to be shy about your faith? Pray the prayer of Mary in special way during those areas for the day.
- Sometimes family is the hardest to confront whenever we want to make a change because they see us at our worst and at our best. When you are confronted with an especially difficult situation with family, friends, or co-workers (those who know you best) pray the prayer of Mary and make a note of your attitude, the result of the action. How does the situation resolve itself? How did you act differently?
"Lord, let it be done to me according to your Word."
