Our inherent problem when it comes to the idea of conversion is our own pride. When we think that we have all the answers, life is pretty easy.
Everyone else is wrong, we are right.
Everyone else has a problem, there is nothing we can do about it.
Everyone else needs to change, we can stay the same.
Except the real issue is that we are wrong, we have problems and the solution is that we need to change. Pride is that part of you that stings when you surrender to the will of God. Pride brings up that fear that God is going to ask you to do something that you do not want to do. Pride is the sin of the devil in the Garden that he infused into Adam and Eve, that somehow we know better about our own happiness then the God who made us.
Pride is the reason that you paused in surrendering your will to God yesterday at that one point when you should have.
Pride is the reason why you are in conflict in a number of areas of your life, that you don't want to surrender because if you do then there is going to be a slippery slope and you can't take being wrong that much.
Now, I'm not talking about being wrong about the engineering of a bridge. Math is math and physics are physics.
I'm talking about being wrong in the "he said, she said" arena. The area where there are ideas that are being tossed around, where people always want to get the upper hand, to be the expert. The areas where it seems that we are always debating, arguing, never winning, but getting all emotional over.
It doesn't mean being a pushover.
It simply means that maybe we need to look at the fact that the core reason we are not saints is that we do not wholly want to be because we think we know better than God.
That's pride.
That's the root of the issue.
We might as well state it in day two because it is going to take the rest of our lives to kill it.
Or rather let God.
That is the difficult part about pride. You cannot kill pride in yourself because then it is you and that causes more pride.
No, the only one who can kill pride in you is the Grace of God. This means that you have to let God kill your pride. You have to recognize that pride is probably the root of most of your issues and then you need to pray that God will present you with opportunities to let the Holy Spirit purify you of... you.
Questions to Reflect:
- What are two situations where your need to be right has damaged a relationship?
- What is something that you are doing in your own life right now that is damaging your relationship with God that you refuse to give over to Him?
- What is your first reaction to criticism from other people? If it is defensive and looking to find what is wrong with others, why?
- Is your first reaction to take credit for something, even if the credit should go to someone else, or God?
- What sinful behavior is reflective of your pride, thinking that God would not see it as a sin "if he only saw it from my perspective?"
- Let yourself be wrong on issues that don't matter. If you wonder which issues don't matter, ask yourself if someone is going to literally die if you are wrong. If the answer is no, let yourself be wrong.
- Go to one person that you have a damaged relationship with and reach out to them. If you have to eat a piece of humble pie, do so. If you have to ask forgiveness, do so. Recognize the feeling of pride dying. If this is difficult, repeat the prayer from yesterday and proceed.
- Make it a point for the day to only offer your opinion if asked for it.
- Make a list of the things that you are proud of. Offer those things to God and ask yourself if you would be able to do any of them without the gifts that He has given you.
- Actively seek out the input of others, even if you think you know the answer. When they give you a suggestion, take their suggestion, even if you like your answer better.
"Lord, let it be done to me according to your word."
Litany of Humility
Written by Cardinal Merry del Val. He was accustomed to recite this prayer daily after the celebration of Holy Mass.
O Jesus meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed,
From the desire of being loved,
From the desire of being extolled,
From the desire of being honored,
From the desire of being praised,
From the desire of being preferred to others,
From the desire of being consulted,
From the desire of being approved,
Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being humiliated,
From the fear of being despised,
From the fear of suffering rebukes,
From the fear of being calumniated,
From the fear of being forgotten,
From the fear of being ridiculed,
From the fear of being wronged,
From the fear of being suspected,
Deliver me, Jesus.
That others may be loved more than I,
That others may be esteemed more than I,
That in the opinion of the world, others may increase, and I may decrease,
That others may be chosen and I set aside,
That others may be praised and I unnoticed,
That others may be preferred to me in everything,
That others may become holier than I, provided that I become as holy as I should,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it. Amen.
