Mercy is a funny thing in that it is rarely comfortable and rarely makes us feel better immediately. In this way it is very much like love. There is sacrifice, it is a choice, and it usually is a better decision in the long run.
Jesus had two comments on Mercy that I find interesting. One is that we should have an attitude (or Be-Attitude) of mercy. "Blessed are the merciful for they shall be shown mercy". We also have the Our Father. "Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who trespass against us."
Jesus isn't talking about people walking on your lawn.
He's talking about mercy. Real true forgiveness from the bottom of our souls.
You see, forgiveness costs us something because when someone takes something from us, be it our dignity, be it our pride, be it a concrete material thing, to forgive that person means that you do not expect them to return that thing. We don't expect the debt to be repaid. We don't expect retribution. We don't expect the "eye for an eye."
I think this is the hardest thing about Jesus' command to love but it is also the most damning of them all. You see, in the Our Father we ask God to forgive us by the measure that we forgive others. This means that the person that you are holding that grudge against, the person that you hate the most, the person that makes you the most angry is the person that is going to keep you from Heaven if you do not forgive them.
That person is going to be the onc that is going to stand between you and God. That person is going to be the one that is brought to mind, and if you cannot find it in your heart to forgive the debt, the sin, the trespass, then how can your sin, debt, trespass be forgiven?
There are times in my life where it has been just, reasonable, and probably even right for me to expect the apology, the groveling, the retribution from the person who did wrong to me.
What if I never get it?
What if that person continues to hurt me over and over and over again?
This is when I have to ask myself, "What if the only way this person is ever going to get to Heaven is if I show them the love and forgiveness that they have never received right now?"
Is our responsibility that great? Yes. Does this mean that we hide the truth? No. Does this mean that we hide the fact that we are hurting and that the person has done something wrong? No.
It does mean that we have to forgive them.
It does mean that we have to make it clear that we expect no retribution, that we take no steps to "level the playing field."
That costs us something.
This is why greed is so incompatible with love of another. This is why we need to forgive so that we can come to Christ's sacrifice on the cross and offer ourselves expecting the same forgiveness that we have offered to others.
Think about it in these terms. Have you ever had a situation where you were overly critical of someone else only to slip up and make the same mistake yourself? In fact, is it safe to say that there are probably people in the world who need to forgive you right now? Why should they forgive you? Why should they give you the benefit of the doubt? Why should anyone give you a second chance? Not one of us is perfect. Not one of us is without sin. Not one of us is a perfect Catholic, a perfect Christian.
Blessed are the merciful for they shall be shown mercy.
Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.
Think about that and process it. Holding on to a grudge like a greedy person to a material possession can be fun and justified.
It can never be considered Christian.
Questions for Reflection:
- Name a situation where you need to be forgiven for something that you have done in the past. Do you think that the person has forgiven you? Do you think that the person would forgive you if you apologized?
- Name a situation where you need to forgive someone else. Why have you not done so? What are you holding on to? Is it worth it?
- In what way is our holding on to a grudge helping us? If it is not helping us, but only causing us pain, is it worth it?
- If you were forgiven by God in the measure that you have forgiven others, would you be forgiven or not? Why?
- How else does the connection between greed, a lack of love, and mercy play itself out in your life? With your family? With your co-workers?
- Write a note to someone apologizing for an action that you have done. Unconditionally.
- Write a note offering your forgiveness to someone for something they have done. Unconditionally.
- Make an effort to encourage forgiveness and mercy this week. At any point when you get the feeling that someone "owes you something" give something to them. Be it an action or a gift.
- Take the time out to affirm someone you know that is especially forgiving.
- Go to Reconciliation. If you are not Catholic, seek reconciliation with God for your sins.
Go to Mass or read the readings for the day.
Prayer of St. Francis: (to be said in the morning)
- Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
- where there is hatred, let me sow love;
- where there is injury, pardon;
- where there is doubt, faith;
- where there is despair, hope;
- where there is darkness, light;
- and where there is sadness, joy.
- O Divine Master,
- grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
- to be understood, as to understand;
- to be loved, as to love;
- for it is in giving that we receive,
- it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
- and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
- Amen.
(Before talking to another person) Father, into your hands I commend my spirit.
Act of Contrition:
O My God, I'm heartily sorry for having offended thee. I detest all of my sins, because of thy just punishment. Most of all, because I have offended thee, My God, who art all good, and deserving of all my love, I firmly resolve, with the help of thy Grace, to sin no more, and to avoid the near occasion of sin again, Amen.
