How inconvenient is the concept of Lust in our society today? Not that it isn't engaged in, but that it is something that was condemned by "the old school" but today is something that is encouraged and promoted as a "healthy" part of a relationship and a marriage. Quick check: walk by a magazine rack in a store today and see how many "women's" magazines have the word "sex" or "orgasm" on the cover.
Pretty much every single one, probably.
And every single version of the sexual relationship in these magazines deal with the idea that you are using the other person for simple sexual pleasure. Even within marriage. This is the lowest common denominator of the human sexual relationship.
The lowest of the low.
Congratulations, you have indulged your desires in the same way that deer do.
For Pope John Paul II, the opposite of love was utilitarianism, which is the concept of "using" another person. When you "use" another person you see them as an object, someone that you use like a thing. A tool.
When you use a person you make them into a tool.
That is the opposite of worship where our bodies are not objects to be used but the very means of our praise of God.
So how are we able to overcome lust?
Stop thinking of others as a tool. As an object.
That means you can't use people. If you find that you are at work and you see a person merely as a way that you can get a promotion or more money, then you are using them. As a tool to get more money.
If you are looking at a person and you only see them as a means to sexual pleasure, a way to fulfill your desires, you are making them a tool. A tool for your desires.
The cynics in the world will assume that everyone is using everyone else for their own benefit. Do not let that stop you today.
Let your "yes mean yes and your no mean no."
Today is the day that we defeat Lust. Or at the very least get to the root of Lust. I am not, nor should you be, under the illusion that any of the habits we are trying to build will be built in a single day. This is simply a first step toward removing the utilitarian aspect from our lives.
It starts with us making an honest assessment of how we treat other people in our lives. Not just the people of the opposite gender, but people who we interact with every day.
We can use family members because their generosity allows us to take advantage of them materially and emotionally.
We can use friends whose indulgence in our sinful behavior allows us to use them as an outlet when we feel constrained by "what is right."
We can use coworkers to get ourselves ahead financially with no regard as to how we might be able to help them, only seeking to help ourselves by using them.
We can use people we don't know, who we meet in random places, when we see them as simply a "waiter" or a "clerk" or the object that is there to make our lives more comfortable.
Using people certainly has sexual connotations, but it is not in and of itself always sexual.
So go meet some people. Go engage people. Go love.
And leave the Lust to the shallowness of cheap magazines.
Questions for Reflection:
- What are some other situations where we have encountered someone being used by others?
- Are there ways where we have used others deliberately and unapologetically? Have we used others without knowing about it until we have reflected on it further?
- It seems today that using others is the norm. How does this contradict the idea of worship and allowing others to worship God?
- If lust simply sees a person as a "means" rather than an "end", what is it that we are hoping to use another person for? Should we not be using that thing in order to reach the heart of the person?
- What are some concrete changes that you can make in your own life in order to overcome lust?
- For today, look each person in the eye and recognize the dignity that they bring to a situation. Recognize that they are not a tool to be used but an immortal soul to be loved and sacrificed for so that they may grow in their relationship with God. You are encountering part of the Body of Christ. You are encountering someone whom will be Christ to someone else, maybe you, if you allow them to be.
- You are to simply be Christ to everyone. You cannot use them.
- Learn the names of everyone you encounter. The person waiting on your table, the person taking money at the counter, the person you are waiting in line with. This will get less weird as the week goes on. Look them in the eye and learn one thing about them.
- Make it a point to learn something about the person you are in a conversation with before you offer anything about yourself.
- Find out what five people need during the course of every day this week and make an effort to provide that. If you cannot do it, write them a physical note (not an email) that you are praying for their needs, and not their wants.
Simply worship God throughout the day. Allow your soul to connect with God. If you don't know what to say, simply say the name of Jesus. Or repeat the word Alleluia. Allow the Holy Spirit to work.
Psalm 38:21-22 In times of lust:
Do not forsake me O Lord, O my God be not far from me! Make haste to help me, O Lord my salvation!
