To live according to your state in life, no matter what that state in life is requires a certain amount of self-control. It would mean nothing for a married person to pretend that they were single, and it certainly happens more often than not. I would mean nothing for someone who took a vow of celibacy to not behave in that way. It would mean nothing for a person who is single to behave as if they were married.
It means a great deal when a married person loves with the same selfless love that a married person is supposed to love with.
It means a great deal when a celibate is able to live their vow with the selfless love they were meant to.
It means a great deal when a single person is able to discern their vocation by loving as a single person.
You see, each of the vocations has a distinct way of loving and those ways need to be discerned, or figured out properly with prayer and guidance. The easiest thing in the world is to get rid of all self-control and simply follow your own impulses. The easiest way to go is often times never the way that is going to lead to true freedom and happiness.
Inevitably when we follow the path of least resistance, when we avoid utilizing the gift of self-control, when we simply dive in to our impulses, we miss out on the opportunity to grow, the opportunity to sacrifice, the opportunity to love.
You can never truly avoid lust without self-control, without embracing chastity.
You can never truly be prudent without self-control.
You can never truly be pure in heart without chastity.
God has given us the gifts, the tools to be able to practice these gifts and sometimes it takes a little bit of concentration to get past the idea that embracing these is going to lead to some type of permanent unhappiness. If God is love, and love is a self-sacrificial rejection of our own selfish needs, wants, and desires, then it only stands to reason that our ability to control those needs, wants, and desires is what leads to a true experience of love.
It is a circle that tends to work with itself. The person who expresses love is the person who displays self-control and chastity. The more that we live self-control and chastity, the more we are able to love. They are partners, companions on the journey of life that allows us to really live. That allows us to really love.
It is odd that we live in a society that demands self-control in so many different areas, except when it comes to the area of love and chastity. Here we demand self-control in eating, in work, in physical areas. We hardly demand any type of self-control when it comes to our own pursuit of pleasure.
It is this lack of self-control that leads to so many problems in our lives. Our inability to love. Our inability to pray. Our inability to sacrifice.
It is a simple concept.
A simple display of true love.
It certainly is not easy.
It is a good thing that it is God who makes saints. Not us.
Otherwise, what isn't easy would just simply be impossible.
Questions for Reflection:
- What is society's perception of the idea of self-control? Chastity? Are those perceptions accurate?
- In our own lives, how have we learned the ideas of self-control and chastity? What have been the biggest influences in our lives in these areas?
- If there could be one thing that we could change about the world around us and its perception of self-control and chastity, what would it be?
- How much influence do we have on the people around us in these areas? What would we be willing to give up so that others learned the real meaning of love?
- How can you teach someone a little bit about self-control and chastity today? How can you share your own life experience with them?
- Share with someone your own story of love. How does self-control fit in.
- Construct the story of how you decided the vocation that you did, or how you are currently pursuing a vocation. Make sure you are honest about the process. Share that story with someone else.
- Make it a point to make the decision to act contrary to your own wants and desires this week as much as possible. If your desire is good an appropriate it is a different thing, but try to take the "high road" when it comes to times when we are faced with a decision.
- Do something to strengthen your vocation this week. Do something for the other that you have not done in a long time.
- Be Christ to others by seeking the needs of others at all times this week.
Simply worship God throughout the day. Allow your soul to connect with God. If you don't know what to say, simply say the name of Jesus. Or repeat the word Alleluia. Allow the Holy Spirit to work.
Psalm 38:21-22 In times of lust:
Do not forsake me O Lord, O my God be not far from me! Make haste to help me, O Lord my salvation!
A Prayer for the Gift of Prudence (to be said in the morning)
Jesus, artful Master of Parables, your prudence eluded the hypocrites. Your actions were known before creation, displaying all the wisdom of Your prudence. Eternity must have attened to minutia. Being prudent in Your best interest, You considered all potential consequences, securing the outcome of Your earthly life. Grant me the prudence to always be cautious and sensitive to the basic needs of others. Jesus, You have shown great foresight, prudence truly originates from Your Being. Amen.
Augustine's Prayer for Purity of Heart: (to be said at noon)
Almighty God, in whom we live and move and have our being, you have made us for yourself so our hearts are restless until they rest in you. Grant us purity of heart and strength of purpose, that no selfish passion may hinder us from knowing your will or no weakness in doing it; but that in your light we may see light and in your service find perfect freedom, through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.
A Prayer for the Gift of Knowledge: (to be said in the evening)
Absolute and all knowing God, nothing is hidden from Your sight. In the prescience since the beginning, all knowledge existed within You. Kindly share Your knowledge with me. making me aware of what is meant to be, permitting my soul to understand it, and wisdom to agree with its outcome. Provide me with the gift of discretion, to prudently apply received knowledge, to ensure the fulfillment of Your Will, Your knowledge shines forth forever. Amen.
Loving God Prayer (when making a decision)
Loving God, you speak to us through all of life. Help me to trust you and to trust that what you desire for me lies in the deepest part of my heart. And, what you desire is that which allows me to grow and to be the person you created me to be - fully human and fully alive. May I always center my life on you and hear joyfully your call to be your companion. Help me to follow my desire to live my as best I can and to serve others with the special gifts
